Out With The Old In With The New

“Anyone who believes in Christ is a new creation. The old is gone! The new has come!” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIRV)

Every year at this time many people gather with friends and loved ones to celebrate as another year comes to a close and a new year begins. It is also a time when we reflect on the past year and think about all that went well in our lives and all that did not. Those of us that believe in Christ, give thanks for all He has done to keep us and see us through. Many of us also resolve to change and improve certain areas of our lives and remove all the negative that has been holding us back from reaching our full potential. It is definitely a great time to begin again, to do better and be better.

I am very thankful to be here waiting for the clock to strike midnight and say goodbye to 2011 and watch 2012 make its grand entrance. Like many other holidays, I enjoy the tradition of watching the festivities at Time Square in New York, Sparkling Cider toast with the kids, claiming financial favor and good luck with a healthy serving of Collard Greens and maybe a taste of Black Eyed Peas on New Years Day. The entertainment and rituals are fun and satisfying to the taste buds, but I have come to realize that we don’t have to wait until a new year begins to makes changes for the better and receive all that God has for us.

In the spiritual realm there is no time. There is only NOW. The past does not exist and the future may or may not come, therefore it does not exist either. All we have is the present moment that we have been given. And in that moment, every moment we are a new creation if we believe the Word of God. Who we may have been or what we may have done even a moment ago does not have to be who we are right now. I believe in Christ every moment of every day so with each breath that I am blessed to breathe I have an opportunity to declare, “The old is gone! The new has come!”

When the clock strikes midnight tonight many will hug, kiss, and toast to the traditional tune of “Auld Lang Syne”, which actually translates to “Days Gone By”. I will have bittersweet feelings when I hear the song. 2011 was a really good year for me. My family and I were blessed in so many ways. That’s not to say there were no obstacles along the way. But the triumphs definitely reigned over the trials. I had many gains and some losses. Through it all I knew that it was all part of God’s perfect plan for my life.

As the days go by in 2012, I resolve to live in the present moment, all that I truly have, and mindfully live each day as if it were my last. When I visit the past, it will only be for short while to reflect on what I’ve learned. When I venture into the future it will be just long enough for me to plant seeds of hope. I will accept and enjoy the present for the gift that it is, nothing more; nothing less.

To everyone that has taken time out to visit, read, and share this blog, I thank you for your support and hope that in some way my thoughts have uplifted, inspired, and encouraged you. I know that my experiences are similar to many single mothers, women, and men in general. I believe we all have a testimony to share and we can all learn from each other. Writing is my passion and making a difference in the lives of others is my purpose. I wish you all love, peace, blessing, and prosperity in 2012! God Bless!

Change Challenges Us to Trust God

“Should we only accept Good from God and not adversity?” ~ Job 2:10 (HCSB)

When we experience things in life that we perceive to be good we have no problem giving God the glory, but for some reason when our experience is contrary to what we desire we typically can’t see God in it. This is especially true when we are impacted by changing circumstances.

When we get a new job or a promotion we sing praises and spread the good news about how great God is, how He showed up and showed out. But when we lose a job or have a change in our income our response is not usually very positive. The key to conquering change in any and every circumstance is having faith, trusting, and truly believing that God is our source.

“We bring nothing at birth, we take nothing with us at death. The LORD alone gives and takes. Praise the name of the Lord!” ~ Job 1:20 (CEV)

The purpose for every experience we have on earth is to bring us closer to God. When He blesses us, it is for His glory, when He allows things to be taken away that we are attached to it is also for His glory. In all circumstances we are to seek ways to use our experience to further build His Kingdom. Sometimes we have to lose what we thought was good to receive something better that God has prepared. As human beings we have a tendency to become complacent and comfortable. I believe God allows our circumstances to change to remin us that our plan is not his plan and in order for His plan to be executed we have to get moving.

“Without change there is no progress.” ~ John Wooden

When faced with adverse change we often seek to blame the person or persons responsible for the change. In doing so, we forget that God is behind the scenes orchestrating the events of our lives, the people involved are merely messengers communicating God’s spiritual direction to you on a physical human level.

In reaction to unanticipated change, our Ego sends us through a series of emotions ranging from fear, confusion, disappointment, and sometimes betrayal. In reality, the change we are experiencing is not about us. It is not even about the messenger. It is about God and His desire to get our attention and align us with His plan for our life. In prayer, we often ask God to show us the way but if His route and calculate distance between turns does not sync up with our internal navigation system we have a difficult time changing directions.

"For my thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord, "And my ways are far beyond anything you can imagine." ~ Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)

The only thing constant in the world is change. Seasons change, people change, and circumstances change. Change represents renewal, a different way of doing things. When we fully grasp the concept that change is the only way for our purpose to be fulfilled and God's plan for our lives to manifest we will no longer be discouraged by the detour sign in the middle of the road. Instead we will eagerly anticipate the sights, sounds, and people that we may encounter along the road that we may not have otherwise traveled had God not challenged us with change.

Remember you are not alone...

Embrace and enjoy the journey!

God Bless!

Contentment is a Choice

“Don’t worry, be happy.” ~ Meher Baba

One of my biggest challenges as a Believer is accepting God’s Will for my life. I have never doubted that God Is, but it can be very difficult to live in the World and not be consumed by it. The World influences our desires and decisions. We tend to measure our satisfaction with life by what the World deems to be “good”. The status-quo is always changing and we are constantly in the pursuit of happiness almost as frequently as the World turns.

The search for happiness will be a never-ending cycle. Because the minute we think we’ve found happiness, our circumstances change and the search is on again. The reality is there is no need to look for something you already have. How many times have you looked all over the house for your keys and they were in your purse, where you’ve always put them? Pretty frustrating, right? The pursuit of happiness outside ourselves can be just as frustrating. We already have exactly what we need and should take note from the Apostle Paul and learn to be content whatever the circumstances.

“…For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4:11 – 13 (TNIV)

I know all too well that this is easier said than done. This is a daily struggle for me. I have learned that the key to true happiness is understanding that God blesses us with life each day not for our own purpose but for His. It is for this reason that we must trust that He will not position us to fulfill His purpose without the necessary provisions.

“The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” ~ Psalm 84:11 (NLT)

I am reading an interesting book titled The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer. In the book Priscilla writes, “Your God can be trusted to grant you the supply you need to excel at His purposes. So if you don’t have it – whatever it is – it’s because you don’t need it. You may want it, but it’s not necessary in order to accomplish what He knows is most important for your life today. Otherwise, He’d have given it to you.”
More often than not we don’t understand God’s purpose for our life. We measure our success using the World’s metric system which leaves us feeling inadequate or incomplete. It may be hard to comprehend that God’s purpose for our life does not require money, a fancy car, or name brand clothes. Are those things necessary to build His Kingdom? Of course we like them. They make us feel good. But are they necessary? Maybe, maybe not.

Priscilla also goes on to write, “Whatever He’s given or not given, He’s done for a specific reason – a reason known only to Him perhaps but one you can trust with full confidence, sight unseen. Every decision you need to make, every task you need to accomplish, every relationship you need to navigate, every element of daily life you need to traverse, God has already perfectly matched up with an equivalent-to-overflowing supply of His grace.”

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed…” ~ 2 Corinthians 9:8

Contentment is a choice. We can choose to worry about what we do not have or we can choose to be satisfied whatever our circumstance may be. We must ask God daily for the strength to do what He would have us to do with what we already have according to His Will.

Remember you are not alone...

Embrace and enjoy the journey!

God Bless!

Let Go and Don't Hold On

“Do not refuse to let them go. Do not keep holding them back.” ~ Exodus 9:2 (NIRV)

A few days ago I was having a discussion with a co-worker about raising young adult children. She was reflecting on her experience as a single mother and when her youngest son left home to attend college. She described it as a bittersweet experience that I could absolutely relate to. She said something that really made me think about how I have handled situations throughout my life when I needed to let go. She said, “Letting go is one thing, not holding on is really the hard part.”

Initially her comment confused me a little. It sounded like an oxymoron. How could I still be holding on if I had already let go? But as I thought about some of my past experiences, I realized that letting go of someone in your mind is very different than holding on to someone in your heart.

As I thought back to when my son left home a few months ago, it really began to make sense to me. Accepting the fact that he would no longer be coming home from school every day was the process of “letting go”. Understanding that I can no longer be emotionally involved, solving all of his problems or alleviating all of his concerns was the process of “not holding on”. It was a true detachment of the umbilical cord. Of course that doesn’t mean that I stop loving him or that I can no longer “be there” for him. I will always love him and be there for him, just in a different way.

This detachment process is similar in relationships. When the relationship has run its course we need to let go in our minds and stop holding on in our hearts. When I realized my relationship with my children’s Father had ended, it was out of sight out of mind. I believed I had let go. In my mind I had. He was free to do whatever with whomever. But in my heart, for many years after the relationship ended, I held on to the idea that maybe, just maybe things could be the way they were again. It wasn’t until I released him from my heart that I really felt free to move forward and so did he.

One way to tell if you have let go and aren’t holding on anymore is to examine if your actions line up with your words. My co-worker went on to tell me a story about the day she visited her son at his dorm room to deliver groceries for him and his roommates. Her intentions were good, but the help was unsolicited. Her son was appreciative of the delivery, but at the same time he was concerned that she was having a hard time letting go. As he walked her to her car, he told her how much he loved her and that he would be okay, not to worry. But he asked her not to come to his dorm unless invited. Her actions did not line up to what she had been telling herself and her son about her ability to let go and allow him to begin his journey.

Now that may seem extreme, and maybe we would never do something like that. But there are some ways that we have demonstrated to another person that we are still holding on in our hearts even though we've told them that we have let go and have move on.

This idea of trully letting go is another life lesson that is so much easier to teach than it is to apply. But scripture says that we are to let go and keep from holding on to what does not belong to us. When we refuse to let go AND continue to hold on, we can potentially limit our growth and the growth of who or what we are holding on to. The first step is admitting that you really haven't let go yet. Once you do this you will be able to free your mind, free your heart, and ultimately free yourself and those that may still be in your grasp.

Remember you are not alone.

Embrace and enjoy the journey...

God Bless!

Beauty Is As Beauty Does

But the LORD told him, "Samuel, don't think Eliab is the one just because he's tall and handsome. He isn't the one I've chosen. People judge others by what they look like, but I judge people by what is in their hearts.” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7 (CEV)

This morning I read a devotional titled, “What We See in Each Other”. The devotional highlighted the parable of the Lord choosing David to be King (1 Samuel 16). It really resonated with me and made me think about something my wise grandmother used to say, “Beauty is as beauty does”. This saying simplifies the reality that beauty should not be determined not by how we look but rather by what we do. What do our actions say about our heart?

As single women, we often wonder, “Where are all the good men”? Statistics say that they are either in jail, dead, homosexual, or they don't meet the criteria; tall, dark, and handsome with a chiseled six-pack. But statistics and often our desires are driven by social norms not spiritual truths. I believe there are available good men out there, but more often than not we tend to look for someone who appeals to our eyes, not someone who appeals to our heart.

We should use the same criteria to choose our King that the Lord used to choose King David. The scripture clearly points out that physical attributes (tall and handsome) weren’t enough to qualify to be chosen as King, it was the heart that mattered most. Samuel assumed that David’s older brother Eliab was the chosen one. Notice in the scripture the Lord says, “He isn’t the one I’ve chosen”. On the contrary, God chose David. David was actually small in stature but had a heart for God and because of that he was destined to accomplish great things.

As a Christian women, we should first examine our heart and our intentions. Then we should examine the heart and intentions of the men that come into our lives and ask the questions, “Do they have a heart for God?” and “Do their actions line up with the Word of God?” If not, that may be a pretty good indication that they are not who God has chosen to be King in our lives.

You see God knew the challenge that was to come for the new King. He knew that out of all of David’s brothers, he was the one who could accomplish what needed to be accomplished. God sees the entire picture. Just like in parable, God knows what we need, when we need it, before we ever know that we need it. So when he chooses our King, His selection will be based on the role that he will need the person play in our lives today, tomorrow, and in the years ahead.

“God has put it into their hearts to carry out his purpose.” ~ Revelation 17:17 (NIRV)

So don’t believe the hype, there are good men out there that are fit to be King. As Believers, we have to know that there are good men out there, in spite of what the world says. We also have to be open and willing to accept that the man for us may not come in the image that we imagine or the package we prefer. External beauty is one-dimensional, shallow, and limited in its impact; it is what it is. Internal beauty is multi-dimensional, deep, and unlimited in its potential; it is all that you need it to be.

Remember you are not alone.

Embrace and enjoy the journey...

God Bless!

Who Says A Good Man Is Hard To Find?

"Seek your happiness in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” ~ Psalm 37:4 (GNT)

I believe much of what God puts on my heart to write about is universal and can apply to anyone, male or female, married or single. But as a single mother, I am a passionate about helping other single mothers and believe it is part of my purpose to share some of what I have learned on my journey. Dating is something that has taken a back seat to raising my children. But now that they are older I am giving more thought to what being in a relationship is all about. So in today’s post I would like to recommend a book for single women that desire a relationship or someone that may be in a relationship but may not be sure if he is “The One”. The book is titled, “A Good Man is Hard to Find: Unless You Ask God to Be Head of Your Search Committee”, by Jo Lynne Pool.

The author writes about how women often focus on what they want in a man, not what they need. When I read the book, it made me think about the recruitment and hiring process at work. Our Recruiters are the head of the search committee. When searching for candidates, the Recruiters ask the hiring manager what they are looking for in a candidate. More specifically what are the “must haves” and “nice to haves”. It’s a simple strategy of “needs versus wants”. After pulling together a list of qualified candidates, the candidate that possesses most of what the hiring manager needs (must haves) is usually selected because needs typically trump wants. Sometimes they are lucky and get some of what they want (nice to haves) as icing on the cake.

Perhaps the old adage, “A good man is hard to find”, is only true because we haven’t executed the right strategy. We haven’t put the right "Recruiter" in charge of finding qualified candidates to fill this critical position in our lives.

An excerpt of the book reads: “God has mandated that he meet your basic needs. Unfortunately, this does not include your whims, fleeting desires, or fantasies. Sure it might be nice if he could be tall, smart, and handsome; buy you a nice big house; and gratify your urge to “shop til you drop”. However these pleasant attributes are not enough to make you happy with him over the long haul because they do not reflect your true needs.” Jo Lynne Pool goes on to write, “God will supply all your needs. When you truly need a husband, not just a sex partner or a friend, then He is faithful and prompt to supply all your needs. But your need, the sincere desire of your heart, must be there first. God answers prayers and meets needs. The need in your life for a husband must never be targeted as a need for a specific man. Instead of targeting a specific guy, leave that part up to the Lord. He already has the right man in mind for you. So let Him handle it.”

Scripture says that God will give us the desires of our heart however it is often misinterpreted that God will give us what we want. What we need tends to be internal (character qualities) while our wants are found externally (physical qualities). Matters of the heart are not external or on the surface level, they are much deeper. What your heart sincerely needs may not be visible, tangible, or easily recognizable, much like God. But as we really get to know God, we will better understand the difference between our needs and our wants. As we learn to follow His lead we will develop a heart like His. Then and only then will we know what we really need to fulfill His purpose for relationship and marriage.

“A Good Man Is Hard To Find: Unless You Ask God to Be Head of Your Search Committee” was a good read and an even better reference guide. I found it to be very insightful. It brought some clarity to what God has in mind for each and every one of us if we just let Him handle it. I kind of like the idea of getting my needs over my wants. I think I would enjoy cake without icing much more than I would icing without cake. I'm just saying...

Remember you are not alone.

Embrace and enjoy the journey...

God Bless!

In Tithing We Trust

“Make an offering of ten percent, a tithe, of all the produce which grows in your fields year after year. Bring this into the Presence of God, your God, at the place he designates for worship.” ~ Deuteronomy 14:22 (MSG)

Throughout my journey to understand what it truly means to be a Christian, I have struggled with the concept of tithing. I have attended many churches of different religions that offer various teaching on tithing and what is required. After reading, studying, and some discussion with other Believers, I can honestly say that today I understand the purpose of tithing better than I ever have before.

Though the concept is clear, like many, I tend to err on the side of caution and try to do all I can with all that I have; the reality is it is still never enough and never will be. It is never enough because I am trying to all that I can instead of allowing God to do all He can. When we tithe, we trust.

Many of us get caught up in skepticism about what the church is doing with our tithe. That is not to be our worry. God will deal with those that have not been good stewards with what He has given them authority over. That includes us. We are also to be good stewards with the resources that we are given authority over. So before judging the man (or woman) in the pulpit, we should look at the man (or woman) in the mirror. How can we be better stewards?

On a side note, if you question what your church is doing with the money they receive from their members, you might want to re-evaluate why you joined that church in the first place? It might be time to find a new storehouse for you to worship and tithe.

I view tithing as part of the supernatural experience of being a Believer that allows us to “give” back to God, what He has already blessed us with. We may not be able to “see” exactly where our money is going; similarly we can’t “see” God, but when we lift our hands and hearts to Him in prayer we trust and believe that He can see us, hear us, and will answer us. Our relationship with God in both prayer and tithing is about trusting and believing in something greater than our human minds can truly comprehend.

Why the first 10 percent of our income? The definition of the word Tithe is: to give a tenth of. So it isn’t a number that unethical church leaders came up with. The theory has been in existence well before the 12th century and is mentioned throughout the bible, beginning with the book of Genesis. Some church leaders may put more emphasis on tithing than others, but our responsibility is to God not the church leaders. We should study the Word for ourselves and know what God expects of us as Believers.

More important than the amount of your tithe, I believe is the order that you place your tithe in relationship to everything else you spend your money on. God wants to be first in every area of our lives; not second, or third to our rent or car payment which you wouldn’t have if it weren’t for His provision.

Setting aside your tithe before you pay anything else demonstrates your obedience and trust in Him. This act of faith shows that you trust Him and believe that you have enough to do what needs to be done. When you rely on God, He will supply what you need. Not your wants, but your needs.

As a single parent, I have always felt like I didn’t have enough money left-over to tithe. That was part of my problem. I was trying to find something to give God after I had already used what He had given me. He really doesn’t want our left-over. He wants us to put Him first. But if I take it from the top, then the question becomes will I have enough to cover my expenses. Well that sounds like doubt and fear. There is no place for doubt and fear if I have faith, they can’t occupy the same space at the same time. So the real question when it comes to tithing is: Do I have faith and trust in God?

So if you are anything like me, always robbing Peter to pay Paul or Priscilla to pay Patty - whatever cliche' you've given to living from paycheck to paycheck, it might be a good idea to re-examine what position we are placing God in our finances. Chances are we are trying to force a dollar out of fifteen cents instead of letting God be God and supernaturally turn our fifteen cents into a dollar. We have to fully surrender to Him. I know this is easier said than done. Like many of you, I am a “Seeking Christian”, learning how to become more like Christ in obedience, trust, and faith. Will you join me on the journey? We can help each other learn along the way!

Remember you are not alone.

Embrace and enjoy the journey.

God Bless!