Put Your Needs Before The Needs Of Others

If you have ever traveled by airplane you have heard a safety presentation script similar to this:

“If oxygen is needed in an emergency, an oxygen mask will be released from above you. Place the mask over your mouth and nose and tighten the strap. Pull down on the hose to start the oxygen flowing. Make sure you put on your mask first before assisting others such as children.”

I recently took a flight from Dallas to Miami and as I listened to and watched the flight attendant give the safety presentation I reflected on my role as a mother. Most people that know me would probably say that I always put my kids first and I fall somewhere towards the bottom of my list of priorities. This is not necessarily a bad thing, our children are important to us but when you think about it in the case of an airplane emergency it absolutely makes sense to put yourself first. How can you assist others if you have not planned for your safety first? Putting your needs before the need of others applies not only in the area of safety, but in all areas of your life.

While it may sound selfish or even counterintuitive to put your needs before the needs of others, it's actually a very loving thing to do. Because if you don't take care of yourself, it will be very difficult to effectively take care of the needs of others.

Our primary need is a relationship with God, so that should be your #1 priority.

“But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” ~ Matthew 6:33 (NASB)

For a single mother, puttinng yourself first probably sounds good in theory, but may seem difficult to put into practice because we often feel stretched, emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially. If you don't have a healthy balance in these areas it will be difficult to teach your children how to have balance in these areas.

If we follow the instruction of Matthew 6:33 and put God first by reading the Bible, praying every day, and living your life according to Word of God the rest will fall into place.

Here are some examples of how and why we should put ourselves first:

• Emotionally – some of us end up being the “rock” for others but we neglect our own hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Seek help and support when you need it.


• Mentally – we all need to be challenged and stimulated, if we aren’t learning new things or pushing ourselves to go to a new level, life can begin to lack meaning. Read, take a class, or explore career options.


• Physically – if you are running on fumes and not getting enough rest you may need to give yourself a bed time. Inadequate sleep can affect us in many ways, like being overweight or unenergetic. Exercise is also key, a 20 minute walk a day can make a big difference in your physical well-being.


• Financially – most single mothers operate on a tight budget and limited resources. I know this is a tough area for me. I am raising two boys and it always seems that I have more living expenses than income. But we have to get creative, save a little for a rainy day, and treat ourselves as often as we can.

Putting your needs before others won't always be easy. You have to make a conscious effort to do it daily. It has been a constant challenge for me because whenever my boys needed or wanted something I would squeeze what I could and make it happen. Whenever I had spare time, I spent it doing what they wanted to do or facilitating their extracurricular activities. When I look back, sometimes they were affected because I wasn’t always at my best emotionally, mentally, physically, or financially. And remember as parents, we set the stage for how they will live their lives as adults.

So have you put your oxygen mask on today? Are you getting what you need to effectively provide for the needs of your children and the other important people in your life?

If you have some tips or creative ideas for putting yourself first in spite of the challenges that being a single mother can bring, we’d love to hear about it! Click on the “comment” link. Sharing is caring!

Remember….you are not alone.

Embrace and enjoy the journey!

God Bless!