Love By Choice, Not By Chance

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart” ~ Psalm 37:4 (AMP)

Some time ago I asked a single friend of mine if she wanted to ever get married. Her response was, “if it happens, it happens”. It almost sounded as if she were rolling dice, playing a game of Black Jack, or Russian roulette with her love life. This conversation really made me think about my situation so I began to examine areas of my life to see if I live an intentional life of choice or a life left up to chance.

For the most part, I believe I do live intentionally. Whenever I have a goal to accomplish I think positively. When I interview for a job, I name it and claim it in advance. When my children set out to do something, I always encourage them by telling them, “consider it done”. After all the Bible says to speak of things that are not, as if they are.

“I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe you have received it, it will be yours” ~ Mark 11:24 (NLT)

However, where relationships are concerned, I haven’t always lived intentionally. I think deep down inside, I’ve always wanted to love and be loved, but I have allowed my fear of disappointment and failure to keep me from receiving God’s best for me. The thought of going through another useless situation was overwhelming to me, and it almost seemed easier to just let the chips fall where they may.

As my relationship with Christ began to develop, I learned that there are no useless situations for those that believe in Him.

“God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him” ~ Romans 8:28 (NASB)

I realized that I have to be open to what God has for me, if I really want to grow. I began to understand that every man that I meet is not intended to be my boyfriend or my husband. The true purpose for our encounter with the men that come into our lives is to help us learn about ourselves and prepare us for the “right relationship”. Kathy Freston, author of the book, The One, says that the mirror of relationships show us where we need to grow, and guides us forward. She also says that whether relationships manifest as joyful or heart-rending, they are a portal through which we access our spiritual potential.

This is where we have to trust God, and know that when someone comes into your life it is by His divine choice, or will for your life and not by chance.

“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” ~ Proverbs 3-5 (AMP)

Webster defines choice as the act or power of choosing and defines chance as something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention. I don’t know about you, but I don't want to play the odds when it comes to something that will significantly impact my life and my children’s life – whether or not I get married.

If you know deep in your heart that you want to get married someday be bold about it. Do not let the fear of reliving your past disappointments limit the possibilities for a future filled with love and purpose. Fight that fear with the faith that God will give you the desires of your heart. But in order for Him to do His part you have to do your part. Live intentionally, open your heart, open your mind, and choose to love again. Don't play Black Jack or Russian roulette with your love life. Put your money on God where the odds are always for you and not against you.

Remember....you are not alone. We are all in this together, with Christ as our provider, our strength, and our guide.

Embrace and enjoy the journey...

God Bless!